The road to wholeness appears to have many starts and stops. And here I am, again, feeling broken. Not shattered, but not seamless either. Psalm 34:18 is what I need to hear tonight. Again and again. Whispered reminders that I am not alone…that God is here with me. Binding up my heart and healing me [...]
Tag Archives: sadness
family, redefined
The other day, my oldest daughter and I were sitting in a fast food joint and enjoying a little time together. Being one on one with any of my kids is a sweet opportunity for connection. Abby has been an especially wonderful compatriot through the past 16 months, however. We were silently watching two or [...]
Missing Parts of You
NOTE: This is a blog post originally written in May of this year but left unfinished. I have looked back at it numerous times and then decided to wait. Today, I feel compelled to see where it goes. Do you remember those picture books with the flaps? The top flap had a character’s or [...]
empty
empty not even empty with a period at the end…more of an ellipsis… like something left hanging, undone, unsure like curtains rustling in an open window toyed with by an unseen breeze the evidence of motion but the substance of nothing abandoned, forgotten, frowned upon… alone e m p t y . . .
stalled
When I was little (no height jokes, please), my family spent a lot of time in the forest on some mountain property my parents own. We’d camp and explore and roast marshmallows and relax in the easy company of people you love and who love you. I knew the mountain fairly well. At least the [...]
enough
this in-between where i am reaching but not grasping not quite not yet where i am moving forward but not arriving knowing, but not seeing yet holding on to belief this in-between where was is becoming a more distant memory and is seems slightly more focused but still shrouded nebulous still this in-between [...]
hollow
The pain doesn’t feel fresh anymore. It is more of an underlying ache. A constant knowledge that what was is no longer and what should be may never be again. It is the wound turning to a scab and, eventually, settling into scar tissue that will probably remain for better or worse. For better or [...]
things left behind
This week, I’ve been thinking about little things. Things that don’t appear in headlines or banners. Things that don’t get blurted out in conversation. Just the small moments of life. Like looking up to see the woman you love looking back at you, and then exchanging quiet smiles. Like contentedly brushing past each other in [...]
we used to laugh
tonight, from troubled sleep I awoke quickly with a vivid memory of an insignificant moment: you and i in bed under covers one of us (i won’t say who) passed gas. we struggled in mock ferocity to clamp down the blankets holding the offending vapors in so neither of us would faint. smiling. laughing. [...]
i give up.
at this moment this split second when the email replied with just one word but a lifetime of broken-hearted meaning: “yes.” as in “yes, i didn’t hold your hand because it made it awkward to walk but because i’d stopped loving you.” “yes,” as in “yes, i didn’t turn away from your kiss because [...]
Follow Me? Okay.
